Friday, January 9, 2009

豬手撈麵

呢幾日,朋友仔重覆又重覆聽我講<豬手撈麵>呢四個字,聽到想用膠紙封實我把口.

事緣早兩晚o既零晨,我嬲到十二點走去買左一個<豬手撈麵>,成盒食晒.

扯,食豬手麵有幾大件事? 豬手同嬲又有乜關係?

戒食肉,唔經唔覺就快兩個月.無想過自己可以堅持到咁耐,但其實,又唔係想像中咁難.總之到今日,我已經可以去Ruth Chris 食Tuna 而唔會心思思想食Porterhouse.

至於麵食,對於我D肥妹仔更加係大忌.澱粉質我已經避開唔食四五年.就算食,都一定係下晝五點前.

同朋友仔講<豬手撈麵>事件,佢地個個一聽,立即感受到我當時股怒意有幾強烈,先可以驅使我唔理智到連破兩戒.

然後我想,如果我地可以量化到心裡邊o既感覺,溝通會唔會容易d呢?

"你有幾愛我?"
"一如我愛支余市廿年,不惜一切,一定要擁有到為止."

"你有幾掛住我?"
"就好似有支McCallan 50年係我面前,心思思好想飲,但又怕飲得太快,以後再飲唔返,籮籮攣唔知點算好."

"有幾開心?"
"仲開心過有人送十對Sergio Rossi 比我!"

"有幾唔開心?"
"就好似Balenciaga 一折,通宵排隊,終於入到去時,乜到比人買晒.”

咁,係咪易明d 呢!?

話時話,我曾經做過一個比喻,我覺得都算係歷年黎o既代表作 -

"就好似一個小朋友日日望住聖誕樹下邊o既禮物,日復日咁等,終於等到Boxing Day, 一起身,立即跳落床衝去拆禮物,拆第一份,空盒,再拆,都係空盒,一直拆,全部都係空盒.咁你明我有幾失望未!?"

朋友仔聽完,呆左兩秒,然後笑到收唔到聲.

當時我地講緊o既,係一個男人o既床上表現 =P

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天氣寒冷,大家記得保暖呀!

11 comments:

卡臣 said...

>對一個男人o既床上表現失望?

噴~嚏~

C+ said...

殊...咪咁大聲喇!!!

(比張紙巾你)

Betty said...

我都笑到收唔到聲.

Anonymous said...

You are so funny and wickedly so! You should be a scriptwriter for Benny Hill or Stephen Chow.

Anonymous said...

倘若我係嗰個男人,俾妳咁形容床上的表現,我諗我會想死囉 =P

C+ said...

小瓶子:
嘻嘻, 你喜歡就好了.

Oz:
Thanks! I am simply glad no one pointed out i am a mean bitch for making such comment, yet! :p

Anon:
我無話佢差勁呀...失望, 可以有好多原因架係咪??

Anonymous said...

But I thought wickness is a sign of meanness, or at least it is inclusive?!

C+ said...

hey as a proud dysfunctional post 80 product I take "wicked" as compliments!!

absolutely shameless :)

Anonymous said...

But I meant it as a compliment and I'm glad you agree la.

Anonymous said...

唔差勁,即係好細、好短才叫妳咁失望喇!

Anonymous said...

you are soooo funny... although I am not good with brand name, but the "disappointment" part is funny lol.

 
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