Wednesday, November 26, 2008

惡女唸唸碎

女生發爛渣,零晨四時跟男友吵架後將他的西裝波鞋從窗口扔下軒尼詩道,更勞煩到警察叔叔暫時封閉行車線讓她將所有物件撿回. 換轉是我,我寧可被控高空擲物/浪費警力/亂拋垃圾/擾亂公眾秩序,也誓死不會把男人的東西撿回.

而男人回家時,大概會讀到我寫下的字條 -

"親愛的,當你看見你的衫褲鞋襪,如經歷了龍捲風的洗禮般散落滿街,但願你終於懂得,我對你的愛,本來就是Katrina.

至於為什麼是你的西裝波鞋,已非你的Laptop Plasma,是因為你總是左穿右搭,以華衣作遮掩,不願意跟別人赤裸相對.穿上Zegna的你,英俊得令我痛心,完美得令很多女人感動.但我墾請你緊記著,當你脫下了戲服的時候,其實並不是想像中的那麼無懈可擊.

要麻煩你在回家的路上逐件的撿回衣物,真的非常不好意思,但我在離開的路上,也會嘗試逐片逐片地檢起我那破碎了的心."


Alright I know I am a hopeless drama queen. 但做了這麼一場大龍鳳後,要我死死地氣親手還原,豈不是白費心機?十分鐘前才滿肚怨憤地把男人的東西扔落街,十分鐘後卻沉得著氣蹲在路邊把男人的東西逐件撿回.If one makes a statement, the least one can do is to stand by it. 像新聞中的女生般舉棋不定,作出兩極化的舉動,最終是會被送.院.檢.查.的.

雖然,任醫生的醫術再高明,醫學再發達,暫時還未有藥物能夠根治<多舊魚>這個長期困擾一眾癡男怨女的都市心理病.

唉,都係一句,please THINK before you act.

=========================
又,想起了一件陳年往事.

廿歲那年,跟初戀男友吵架,吵至面紅耳赤之時發生了一點推撞,眼看他似要動手打我,我本能地自衛,先發制人地捉著他的手臂咬了一啖.

那一口,我也記不得咬得有多狠.總之我放口的時候,大家都靜了下來,他頭也不抬轉身走入廁所,我以為他入去處理傷口,便走出露台抽根煙.

正當我想著該如何道歉時,門鈴嚮起.開門,看到兩位軍裝警察.

"小姐,呢度係咪有人要求驗傷?”

佢竟然咪埋係廁所報警囉!!!

4 comments:

said...

嘩!!!好厲害的往事啊!!

hihi ^_^ 謝謝連結,你的網誌很好看呀!

oz said...

Wow, what a previous life! Then did you get a bind-over, or told the officers to fxxk off, or did he really go to hospital and make a report(which was very un-manly)?

PS, i always like these story in bits and drips, its what the old-fashioned novelists called "suspensions"!

C+ said...

I have all sort of dodgy stories I can tell... hahahaha

As for the 2nd part of the police visit, I will try to include it in my next entry! ;P

笨豬 said...

好爆...

同埋,我覺得D警察叔叔好慘…

 
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