Thursday, December 11, 2008

裙下亡魂

好友D於留言中以"港女著得少又怕人望"比喻我的三個寫文守則,被我以利刀指嚇,要脅他再留言澄清, 尤其他極了解我對衣着的"大方"。

早幾年他娶得美人歸,女兒身的我無緣作伴郎兄弟,只得乖乖作座上客。又因與新娘子不大相熟,是以我自命醒目地放棄了穩陣的Cocktail Dress, 換上以為親民的Party Look - Tube dress + Leggings + Pumps赴宴。

婚宴,是喜事; 親如哥哥的好友辦喜事,我當然高興得給一對新人大大的熊抱。豈料一襲週末晚上的正常装束,一個友善的擁抱,竟令我成了新娘子的眼中釘。

"喂嗰個乜水呀?着得少不得止,仲欖到你老公實一實..." 女家的親朋如是問。新娘聽罷,覺得沒面子以外,更痛恨死佬不慎交友。誤認姣精作妹,死罪可免,活罪難逃 - 好友D自此消失於我瞎混名單之上。偶爾見面,都是趁他太座事忙,又或假借開會之名喝上兩杯便匆匆回家交人。

光明正大的一段友誼,從此被逼變成比偷情更似偷情的地下友情,好友D亦成為了我裙下的唯一亡魂 - 喪失了一點自由自主。

可從這件事,我學懂了三件事:

1/ 只要正式成為了男人的太太,多無理的要求,也成為合理要求。
2/ 男人的大話,有時候,是為着配合女人的無理要求,逼不得已下編出來的。
3/ 冬天參加婚宴,穿樽領。夏天參加婚宴,也是穿樽領。

都是裙子惹的禍。

9 comments:

readandeat said...

唔,不要考驗友情,也不要考驗愛情。

Hana said...

>男人的大話,有時候,是為着配合女人的無理要求,逼不得已下編出來的。

哩句好啱聽。

卡臣 said...

夏天參加婚宴,也是穿樽領

嘩!
中暑要新郎人工呼吸

好友D said...

LOL, nice piece. You should find that it is our relationship, rather than myself, that can neither be written off nor be made totally legitimate within the boundary of Hong Kong traditional social norm. Such a display of unwilling death and being trapped between worlds seeking revenge and rebirth would more accurately be described as "冤魂" than "亡魂".

In the aftermath, there are several photos of you at the wedding with that damned dress, which compounded the seriousness of the matter. Apparently it was not noticeable during the wedding, the flash from the photographer actually made your tube dress, on photo, more transparent ... and your lingerie was showing. Was it my luck that you are not one of those who likes to go to parties in a bra-less dress?

Anyway I'd had a razor thin time frame after collecting the photos from my photographer to censor them OUT of the collection. While these fancy photos may be useful equipment for those seeking private sexual pleasure, they are clearly not ideal candidates to appear in a wholesome wedding album. If I hadnt had the chance to censor them out, imagine the everlasting avalanche as a result and the "冤魂" would be made "魂飛魄散,永不超生".

善哉善哉。

周游 said...

我的千年死黨也有男的,好同意妳的亡魂論。
至於party look, 新娘從來都是不好惹的, 我至怕去飲。

Leona said...

隔幾天就要去飲,新娘且是好朋友之一,莫非要褢上大衣?

OMG

又,讀與吃的留言好精警!

C+ said...

Read & Eat:
絕對同意Leona, 你個留言真係好精警. 我o答左幾個鐘先參悟到!

Hana:
雖然自己身為女子, 但仍然唔明白好多女子...

卡臣:
哼, 佢敢!? 伸個頭埋黎唔驚我大啖咬落去乎?

好友D:
你覺得自己是冤魂, 合理.
但於我, 你已經是亡魂嘛!



周游:
多謝捧場! 好喜歡讀你的文字! Stay warm :)

Leona:
樽領 + 大衣 = 必勝組合! YAY!!

oz said...

I can well imagine what happened during this wonderful wedding. Still what lot of excitement with censorship and category III cover-up! 好友D must be sweating a lot?

Yun said...

呢D事情真係超無奈。好在我住在美國。

 
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