民建聯成功爭取北極有企鵝...

Three Cheers For DAB!!!

Further Readings:
林忌　－　民建聯成功爭取北極企鵝多

越危險的地方, 越安全??

兩青年法院交收k仔先後認罪

兩名廿三歲青年於本年一月九日在粉嶺法院內，公然交收以一百元港幣摺成的小袋裝載的○點一三克氯胺酮(俗稱k仔)，帶毒青年早前已承認販毒罪，被判入獄七個月。

接收k仔的青年本涉及毒品及管有他人身分證罪，原否認控罪的被告今日亦認罪，法官索取感化官報告和勞教所報告，押後至本月十七日判刑。

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hm...
這算不算
勇氣可嘉!?!

FW: <超級無敵海景佛跳牆>

Relgitsjg 個Xanga, 係一個我長期CD Rom 但唔曉答咀o既博．但尋晚讀完呢篇文，我真係忍唔住留言問可唔可以轉載．

<超級無敵海景佛跳牆>原文

話說有位兄長, 下班回到家中. 老頭神色慌張, 叫佢埋一角傾密計.
"今日你細佬學校打黎."
"? 做乜?"
"老師話佢出貓"
"嘩!"

其實兄長並唔係奇怪老弟出貓, 只係奇怪點解出貓會俾人捉到. 屌! 有邊個讀書無出過貓? 考試個陣都試過同隔幾行個同學傾計.但唔通同老弟講 "你出貓無所謂, 但唔好俾人捉到"? 一定發生倫常慘案, "灌輸錯誤學習態度, 鼓勵親弟出貓; 兄長被老父狂劈千多刀至死".

好咧, 於是急召當時人應訊.
********************

"你點解出貓?" 兄長懶嚴正義詞地問.
"唔記得."
"你都已經讀中一, 點解唔記得?"
"唔記得寫手冊" - 主角手冊登場
"點解唔記得寫手冊?"
"因為無抄落手冊"

屌佢, 去到呢個位兄長已經想笑出黎. 佢忍燃住, 繼續.

"點解無抄落手冊?"
"因為唔記得抄"

屌你, 咁就已經 Loop 左一次 (波兒波兒波兒魚兒小寶貝~~~).

"咁點解唔記得抄?"
"因為無睇到黑板" Thank god, 終於有新人物黑板先生出現, 唔使再 loop 落去.

"點解老師寫黑板你無抄低?"
"因為唔記得抄".

夠咧, 屌你! 再問落去都無意思.

********************
"咁默d 乜? 你點出貓?"
"詩...八句, 每句七個字, 一人背幾句"

原來 甲同學背四句 (屌你! 背撚到四句就好心背埋另外四句拉!); 老弟與 乙同學每人兩句.

"咁老師點發現你出貓?"
"我拎本書出黎睇"

兄長心諗 "??? 屌你呀, 背兩句都背唔到?"

"既然一人背幾句, 點解仲要拎書出黎?"
"默書個陣, 唔可以拎轉頭望後面本默書簿"

嘩!!! 屌你呀!!! 兄長真係差d 忍唔撚住笑左出黎呀!!

"乜你出貓之前無諗過, 默書個陣係唔可以周圍望嫁咩? 乜你以為默書個陣好似上 PE 堂咁周圍郁嫁咩?"
"er...."

好咧, 呢d 問題無答案. 而且再問落去, 兄長真係會笑左出黎.

********************
"好咧. 既然你要出貓, 即係唔識首詩. 你同我抄 200 次拉."

老弟瞳孔放大一億倍, 無奈又要屈服於兄長的淫威下.

"好咧, 讀一次首詩黎聽下"

"...... ...... ...... ..... 佛跳牆..... ..... "

兄長當時替老頭抄寫別的報名表中, 未有為意.

"再讀一次"
"...... ...... ...... ..... 佛跳牆..... ..... "

佛跳牆? 兄長心想, 這首新詩的作者也夠奇怪, 寫詩也想著吃.

"好咧, 讀埋呢次, 罰抄 100 次就算咧."
"...... ...... ...... ..... 佛跳牆..... ..... "

兄長越想越覺得不對勁. 這不是新詩, 詩的意境也和食沒有什么關係.
好地地點解會有 "佛跳牆" 走出黎?

於是一手搶去老弟課本... 一看.... 他終於忍唔住, 要衝入廁所爆笑了...

********************
<村行 王禹>
馬穿山徑菊初黃，信馬悠悠野興長。
萬壑有聲含晚籟，數峰無語立斜陽。
棠梨葉落胭脂色，蕎麥花開白雪香。
何事吟餘忽惆悵？村橋原樹似吾鄉。

* * *
Thanks Relgitsjg !

男女難辨！？

男子涉大圍襲警被捕
(明報)1月14日 星期三 23:05
一名男子晚上在大圍美田路富嘉花園涉嫌襲擊一名警員，男子被捕。

事發在晚上約十時，警員報稱，腹部被人踢了兩腳，要送院治理。一名男子涉案，被警方以襲警罪拘捕。

女子涉大圍襲警被捕
(明報)1月14日 星期三 23:45
一名女子晚上在大圍美田路富嘉花園涉嫌襲擊一名警員，女子被捕。

事發在晚上約十時，警員報稱，腹部被人踢了兩腳，要送院治理。一名女子涉案，被警方以襲警罪拘捕。

====================
到底係警察屈人功力已達化境；公信力最高o既明報錯誤報導；定係雅虎o既技術出錯？

抑或真係同時同地有相同案件發生！？

又，本來今日要去大圍買酒，最衰無去．如果去左，話唔埋可以做目擊証人！

品牌狂迷

初來港履新的法籍友人被同事帶往渣兜紅參與一個生日會, 席上不單認識了壽星女, 更成功定下兩天後來個單獨約會.

約會時, 友人問壽星女收到甚麼生日禮物, 女生竟然扁著咀說收到一個Gucci 銀包.

友人不解女生何故扁咀, 再作追問.

女生誠實地回答

"I only like LV. If not LV, I want cash."

友人嘛, 根本不懂LV為何物, 可心裡實在好奇, 世間上有甚麼比錢更吸引女生.

"LV!! You don't know LV!?!? HOW COME? Very expensive very famous!" 女生頓一頓 " Bags, wallet, shoes... you know?"

"Ah, you mean Louis Vuitton?" 友人開始理出頭緒

"No no, aiya..." 女生開始著急如何令友人明白她的尊貴品味, 忽然靈機一觸, 從手袋拿出她的LV 碎紙包作道具之用. "You see? This is LV!"

友人只得無奈的說, "Yes, I know Vuitton."

-----------------------------
對於呢件膠得幾有啟發性的膠事, 有太多話想講, 需要點時間整理思路. 但罵了人捷足先登, 只好先登出故事之始作個引子.

伸延閱讀
孫柏文 - No Excuse
林夕 - 追上潮流

Smokers banned from fostering

IS THIS DISCRIMINATION OR WHAT!?

LONDON (Reuters) - A council has become the first in London to rule that smokers will no longer be able to foster children.

Redbridge Council's cabinet agreed Tuesday night to a ban on placing children with foster carers who smoke unless there are exceptional circumstances.

The local authority in northeast London said the decision, which will come into force in 2010, was made to protect children from the "damaging effects of passive and second-hand smoke."

Other councils around the country have introduced similar measures, particularly relating to very young children, but Redbridge's ban is thought to be the most far-reaching.

"We know this is a difficult issue because some people will feel it is an intrusion on personal freedoms," said Councilor Michael Stark.

"But we also know that smoking increases the risk of serious illness in childhood. On balance, we have decided children in our care shouldn't grow up breathing second-hand smoke."

The council cited scientific evidence that showed passive smoking caused lung cancer and childhood respiratory disease.

Existing smokers will be told of the new policy and given help to quit.

The Fostering Network, a charity which represents groups involved in fostering, said it believed no child under five should be placed with carers who smoked.

However the charity, which estimates there is a shortfall of some 10,000 carers, said it did not want potentially good foster parents to be put off because they had an occasional cigarette.

Tobacco lobby groups said the move was part of an "ongoing campaign to stigmatize smokers."

"It's going to exclude people who could be outstanding foster parents," said a spokesman for pro-smoking group Forest.

"It sends out an insidious message that smokers in general are unfit parents and I don't think any politician has the right to do that."

California State Running Out Of Cash

With credit frozen, California had enough cash reserves to last until Oct. 28, said Tom Dresslar, a spokesman for Mr. Lockyer. As a result, the state was prepared to seek initial loans of between $1.5 billion and $2 billion to cover expenses including payrolls for thousands of teachers, police, firefighters and other public employees. Mr. Dresslar said $7 billion in federal loans might be needed before next spring, when new state tax revenue will be flowing. <Wall Street Journal>

HOW ON EARTH THE STATE THAT GENERATES THE MOST TAXES CAN RUN OUT OF MONEY?! They ranked first in the 2007 Federal tax revenue by state!

"It is daunting that California, the eighth-largest economy in the world, cannot obtain financing in the normal course of its business to bridge our annual lag between expenditures and revenues," Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger wrote in a letter to the state's congressional delegation in Washington. <LA Times>

Caught CBS evening news and on a phone interview with Bill Lockyer, California State Treasurer, said the state government plans to seek help from CHINA if their SOS call to Bill Gates didn't work out.

THEY WANT CHINA TO SAVE CALIFORNIA'S ASSES!! I cannot believe this...

86-year-old fought off Lee Shau-kee

Pepere is such a good boy to check my latest entry SO SOON and sent me this news that I missed out.

A granny's 14 years long hard battle with the Tycoon finally ends with a bitter victory. Is it possible to claim damages on Mr. Lee for emotional distress!?

Her last comment is surely cute thou!

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Granny took on tycoon and won
86-year-old fought off Lee Shau-kee's attempts to take the land she loves
SCMP Yau Chui-yan - Aug 31, 2008

Wong Yam-tai is still angry with property tycoon Lee Shau-kee - just as she still hates the Japanese army, which invaded Hong Kong in 1941 and ruined her family. She has just won a 14-year battle with the Henderson Land (SEHK: 0012) chairman to hold on to the land she has farmed for decades.

Ms Wong may be 86, but her memory is crystal clear. She remembers her colourful life peppered with injustice - from the Japanese army insulting her parents to the long days in court during legal battles since 1994 to keep the land she has lived on for more than half a century.

"Are you questioning me like in the court?" she shouted at the Sunday Morning Post (SEHK: 0583, announcements, news) when asked a question.

Her hearing was damaged by the noise of construction work near her Tai Po home a few years ago, leaving only her left ear working properly.

But her other ear still works well: she can clearly hear financial news on television - especially when Mr Lee, owner of developer Henderson Land, is on the screen. "She trembled every time she saw Lee Shau-kee on TV," said daughter, Kitty Chan Suk-yin.

"Lee Shau-kee has so much money. How come he does this to me? Everyone said he is helpful to the public. How can I laugh when someone is saying this?" Ms Wong said, weeping. "I have no shoes, no gloves; people look down on me."

A grass-roots fight against a Hong Kong tycoon may be a fascinating spectacle for the public, but for those at the centre of it the experience has been far from enjoyable.

In recent years, Ms Wong's only trips away from her treasured home have been to the Court of Final Appeal in Admiralty. Buses make her ill, so she must travel by taxi.

Despite her advanced age, she still works on her farm every day, fighting off wild pigs and monkeys that come to eat the organic vegetables and fruit on her land.

Ms Wong walks rapidly around her property, using a cane fashioned from a tree branch. "I need to hold this to kill those snakes that bite my dogs," she said.

Some of her toughness is drawn from her faith. "I believe in Jesus Christ. I was baptised when I was eight."

Toughness also comes from her life experiences. Her family's property was taken by the Japanese army.

"I was in a well-off family before they [Japanese soldiers] came to attack us," she said.

The scars left by the Japanese invasion obviously run deep: she continually mentioned the experience during her two-hour interview with the Post.

"My first husband was a rich guy, because he had land," she said.

In her 30s, she turned the land into a farm and a home for four children - working with bare hands beside her first husband. The land is a memory of their love.

"But then he died of a heart attack after the business started to fail, and left me with four kids. It is miserable to be a widow with four kids. My eldest son was knowledgeable, but he died in his 30s."

The land is also a memory of her love for her second husband, who worked on the farm before he died.

"I loved both my husbands deeply," she said. Her second husband died a few years after the marriage, leaving her with a boy and a girl - Zack Chan Cheong-yin and Kitty, both of whom still live with their mother in the small, three-bedroom brick house she built.

Her children have great respect for their tough mother. They call her their idol, saying her courage and persistence encouraged them during the long court case. "My mother has fans. Some people affected by similar court cases come to visit my mother and seek advice," Zack Chan said.

But the grandmother of 10 has her own idol - she is a fan of legislator and activist "Long Hair" Leung Kwok-hung. "He speaks for the poor," she said.

Despite her discontent with Mr Lee, Ms Wong believes her life is blessed: "No matter if I'd won or lost the case, I'd still be happy."

壯男下體卡入仰板

Comment from my friend's friend -
"打左咁耐麻雀....................而家先知有卡窿一索"

The video is a must check, our firemen have my total respect for not laughing out loud and doing their job seriously...

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From Apple Action News

藍 田 碧 雲 道 一 名 42 歲 男 子 ， 凌 晨 時 份 在 公 園 健 身 區 內 ， 因 拉 開 褲 鏈 伸 出 陽 具 做 掌 上 壓 ， 陽 具 離 奇 被 卡 在 板 上 的 小 孔 ， 「 無 法 自 拔 」 痛 苦 呻 吟 。 消 防 到 場 鋸 下 仰 臥 板 ， 將 男 子 連 人 帶 板 上 救 護 車 送 院 。

據 了 解 ， 該 名 男 子 留 醫 8 小 時 後 ， 已 於 早 上 11 時 自 行 乘 的 士 出 院 。

今 日 凌 晨 零 時 許 ， 該 男 子 不 知 何 故 在 一 仰 起 坐 健 身 設 施 做 運 動 期 間 ， 竟 反 過 身 來 拉 開 褲 鏈 伸 出 陽 具 做 起 掌 上 壓 ， 陽 具 更 離 奇 卡 在 板 上 直 徑 約 1 寸 的 小 孔 ， 痛 苦 大 聲 呻 吟 ， 驚 動 途 人 報 警 。

消 防 到 場 後 ， 見 男 子 陽 具 一 直 腫 脹 ， 急 召 醫 療 隊 協 助 。 稍 後 ， 一 名 醫 生 用 針 插 進 其 陽 具 附 近 血 管 放 血 ， 但 依 然 無 法 讓 該 男 子 的 陽 具 自 然 抽 離 小 孔 。

消 防 員 遂 用 電 鋸 鋸 下 鐵 製 的 仰 臥 板 ， 合 將 男 子 連 人 帶 板 抬 上 救 護 車 ， 送 往 聯 合 醫 院 搶 救 。